Goofy socks give startling new evidence for existence of feet.
Week 21 -- FEET DISCOVERED! PITTSBURGH, PA -- Scientists in Robertland reacted with shock and skepticism to recent developments suggesting the existence of feet, attached to legs, attached to the torso. "We once believed nothing could rival the discovery of hands, earlier this May," said one top scientist. "We were wrong. Who knows how many appendages we may actually have?"
Goofy socks give startling new evidence for existence of feet.
Lone inventor proposes futuristic "feet as locomotion" scheme.
Top scientist dismisses "balance" concept as "pernicious pie-in-the-sky."
Military scientists say current locomotion scheme (dragging self forward using elbows and chin) is optimal.
Entire roving baby commando units envisioned.
Enhanced locomotion may have valuable applications in intelligence-gathering.
Politicians demand increased federal funding for research.
Without opportunities for further gumming, Robert risks falling behind other babies.
Scientists consider implications.
"Not only have we found direct evidence of feet," said one scientist, speaking on condition of anonymity, 'but preliminary data indicate the existence of budding outgrowths known as 'toes'. We really have no way of knowing how deep this thing goes."